The Gallery: Travel - and why travelling with kids doesn’t have to be hard work

Tara Cain at Sticky Fingers has given us Travel as the category for this week's Gallery.  I decided that this would be a good opportunity to tell you about one of the MOST successful experiences we've had travelling with our children. Couldn't limit it to one pic though.
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Our family holidays have largely fallen into two categories – travelling abroad to stay with far flung family or going somewhere that offers an all inclusive meal plan plus kids club so that my husband and I get a break from the 24/7 job of being a parent.

However, this Easter, we decided to go to a self-catering gîte in the French countryside. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t classify being in the countryside, cooking, cleaning and looking after children a holiday. It too closely resembles my everyday life.

But I really wanted to explore a bit more of France and figured that we’d probably have better weather there than at home and as long as it wasn’t hugely expensive, we could still have a ‘proper’ holiday in the summer holidays.

I have worked with child friendly holiday family specialists Tots to Travel for five years, but have yet to go on one of their holidays. But this year I decided it was high time I sampled what I'd been promoting for years (please note, I paid for this holiday, it wasn't a freebie so I'm reviewing this as a real customer).

After browsing the website, I found the perfect spot in Belle Gites, a cluster of five family friendly gîtes in Charente Maritime, where there would be other children to keep my two sons (7 and 5) entertained. And it offered home cooked meals, was near places I wanted to visit and was very affordable.

The courtyard at Belle Gites

My holiday decision was reaffirmed with the smooth booking process and excellent customer service. I wanted to stay for one night more than the allotted 7 nights, and that was efficiently arranged. Within minutes of booking, I received a call from the home owner who gave me even more information on the property, what to bring, how to get there and what we could expect the weather to be like. A great personal touch – it felt like we were going to stay with friends, rather than on an anonymous holiday complex.

We opted to go by ferry to Caen and drive the five hours to the Charente Maritime where the property was situated, rather than flying into La Rochelle which was the alternative. It was an easy journey on fast, mostly traffic free toll roads.

Small boys enjoying pain au chocolat on the ferry

On arrival, the kids thought Christmas had come early when they saw everything that was waiting for them to play with. In the courtyard there was table football, ping pong, basketball, darts, deck quoits, skittles, board games, countless bikes of all sizes and much more. But that was just the start. 

Just some of the kit available for us to use

The huge grounds also had a heated swimming pool with plenty of swimming toys, a zip wire, volley ball court, full size football pitch, mini tennis/badminton court, pirate ship sandpit, climbing frame, swings, trampoline, Little Tikes houses and ride ons, and a pet corner with chickens that the children could feed.

The lovely pool - which we swam in despite it only being April

Full size football pitch and volleyball/tennis



Kids climbing frame and trampoline





Perfect for toddlers - sandpit and playhouses

 Within minutes of arrival, our children had gone exploring, leaving us to check out our property, complete with welcome basket of essential foods and wine. We’d gone for Gîte Safran, one of five gîtes on site all clustered around the central courtyard. It had two beautifully decorated bedrooms (one double, one twin), with a bathroom between the two, and an open plan kitchen, dining room and sitting room all tastefully furnished and scrupulously clean. It was set back from the other gîtes, but had outside tables for al fresco dining on both sides – one overlooking the swimming pool and grounds, the other the courtyard – giving us privacy yet still being very sociable.

Gite Safran

Our hosts Michelle and Paul were immediately welcoming and introduced their children Sol and Safia to our boys. We also met the one other family staying in one of the other gîtes with their three boys.

Our lovely hosts

With a troop of small boys to charge around with, dens to build and intricate games of goodies vs baddies to play, we didn’t see our children for the next few days, except when their grumbling tummies brought them back for our al fresco lunches of crusty bread, creamy cheese and salty ham. This left my husband and I free to lounge next to the pool in the unseasonably warm high twenties temperatures, or take turns going for long bike rides through the undulating fields and vineyards.

A game of goodies v baddies going on in the trees

On his way to the den in the woods with treasure

We’d chosen the gîtes partly because of the location. Just a five minute bike ride to the local village for fresh bread and croissants, 10 minute drive to St Jean d’Angely, named as one of France’s 100 most beautiful villages, 10 minutes to Saintes with its ancient Roman ruins, 20 minutes from Cognac with fabulous tours of Cognac houses, 25 minutes to the beach and 45 minutes to La Rochelle with its cosmopolitan vibe.

The harbour fort at La Rochelle

La Rochelle Port

We visited all of these places and while the children enjoyed them, they would have preferred to stay at Belle Gites every single day. And it’s easy to understand why. The sleepy French village with its quiet country lanes made it safe enough for them to ride their bikes unaccompanied by an adult. They could explore the acres of woodland playing imaginative games. They had complete freedom to run wild and returned home each evening filthy, exhausted but utterly happy. As parents, we could genuinely relax, knowing they were safe and having the time of their lives.

We were incredibly lucky with the weather, with a daily average of around 25C. Had the weather been less kind, there is plenty to do indoors nearby like visiting the Atlantys Swimming Complex or The Aquarium in La Rochelle.

Hosts Michelle and Paul offer BBQ evenings, giving the guests a chance to know each other while eating delicious home cooked food. They also hold weekly football games with the local French residents, and guests are invited to take part. If you want a night out, they offer babysitting, a mini kids club in which they do arts & crafts, video nights for children complete with popcorn, and while we were there, they put on a fantastic Easter egg hunt. On our last night, they even set up a tent in the grounds for our and their children to have a camp out.

The Easter egg hunt (real and chocolate eggs were found!)

The football match with the locals

The kids got to camp out on the last night for added fun

My preconceived notions about spending my entire holiday cooking and cleaning were unfounded. Meals in France need to be nothing more than a smorgasbord of cheese, hams, breads, olives and fresh tomatoes – no cooking required. While our children are slightly older, even parents of babies and toddlers could easily have a relaxing break thanks to the layout of the gîtes, the services on offer and the extensive kit provided.

I’m a complete convert. We all returned home relaxed, refreshed, sun-kissed and in love with France.

While not all self-catering options are created equal, all those on the Tots to Travel website have been personally visited and vetted to ensure that they are safe for children, relaxing for parents and generally fabulous. Our toughest decision is where to go next with them – France, Spain, Italy or Portugal.

FACTS AND TOP TIPS

• Cost of accommodation: in Easter £640 for a week. Goes up to £875 per week in summer.
• Travel: Brittany Ferries - £371 return trip. Alternatively fly to La Rochelle (45 minutes drive from the Gites) on FlyBe, Jet2 or EasyJet
• Tolls: Approximately €40 each way
• Cognac tours: Try Hennessey which includes a boat trip or Remy Martin which includes a train ride
• Saintes: visit the Roman amphitheatre with children – little boys in particular will enjoy pretending to be gladiators in the ring
• Travel tip: we stayed overnight in Caen on our return due to an early start with the ferry. It would also be possible to leave at 2am and drive overnight, letting children sleep and get to the ferry in time. Alternatively, if driving up a day in advance, stop at the war cemeteries and D-Day landing beaches for some history.

Crazy idea of the day

A few posts back I said that I had sold my business and was now looking for the next thing to do. Yesterday while chatting to some lovely inspiring people, they were asking me what I was going to do next. I said I had no idea and that I felt as though I needed to try out a different job every week. Before you know it, we came up with a master plan:

I attempt to get a different job every week for a year (or at least several months). I would then blog about the experience, possibly turn it into a book and before you know it, they'd be making a film and I'd be a millionaire. Well that's sort of how the conversation went.

But now I'm toying with the idea. It's mad. I'd make no money. It would probably cost me money. Juggling child care would be a nightmare. Getting the jobs would be a bigger nightmare. Doing the jobs would be the biggest nightmare of all. Could I be a policeman? Plumber? Investment banker?

I wouldn't have a clue what to do and would probably spend most of my time bricking myself. Imagine having a new first day at the office every week. Nuts right?

But it could be a fantastic adventure. And I'm a bit of a fan of crazy adventures. Plus it would be a great way of learning about what I want to be when I'm big.  I read a quote today that said: One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure that it's worth watching.  This would make for very interesting viewing.

What do you all think? Crazy but do it. Or crazy you have officially lost the plot mad lady.

Should I go incognito?

For a long time now, I've been wishing that this blog was anonymous. I want to be able to write things as they occur to me, without thinking of the social ramifications of what might happen if I wrote about them. And it sort of brings into question why I blog in the first place.

I love that I have this blog as a record of what has gone on in my life for the last 3 years. Even now, I read some of the posts from 2008 and realise how much my life has changed since then. What will it be like in another 10 or 20 years. So that's partly why I write it. To capture life in a diary. And sure, I could do that privately, but it's so much more fun to get other people's view on something you're experiencing, whether they agree or disagree. It's like having a global sounding board.

I also write it because I love to write. I had a conversation this weekend with two girlfriends (and I apologise to those girlfriends for referencing it here because I know they are uncomfortable with me regaling things that we might have discussed, even if they are not referenced by name. Another reason anonymity is good) and basically they, like many, many people, they don't understand why I blog. I think it's universally perceived as odd. A little weird. And during this conversation, I said that whenever I do anything I am constantly thinking in my head about how I would write about it.

That makes me sound awful. What about living in the now and enjoying life as it happens, instead of thinking about how you'll report back on it? It is truly messed up. But I can't help it. It's the way my brain works. As I see a beautiful sunset, I'm thinking about the words I might use to describe it. And if I see crazy people in London holding 'free hugs' signs, I'm thinking about how I might weave that into a blog post or story. (Dammit, I just used that one up.)

I don't necessarily want to be like this. I just am. Some people paint. Some take pictures. Others knit or bake or add up rows of numbers or jump off bridges attached to pieces of bungee cord. Different things make different people tick. I write about life as it happens around me. I write it in my head and if I don't get it out, my brain might quite literally explode.

And I wish I could write about it exactly as I feel it, instead of tempering it so as not to offend anyone or reveal to much or be too public (some might say I already am). Hence the reason I'd like to stop Home Office Mum and start fresh with a new blog where no-one knows who I am.

But there are downsides to that. It's nice to know that people read your blog. Call it massively narcissistic, but it feels great to know that someone somewhere in the world has read what I've written. I've got 41 people who subscribe to my blog. That's probably a paltry number by most standards, but that is 41 people who have actively decided to click and subscribe to my ramblings. To start afresh is hard. What about all the friendships I've made with bloggers? How do I let them know where I've gone to? Do I let them know or is that entirely defeating the object of the exercise of anonymity?

I'm in PR for God's sake. I know what it takes to build up a brand. And while my teeny tiny pathetic piece of blog real estate doesn't justify the word brand, it still has three years of history and credibility behind it. Starting afresh and anonymous just makes those three years disappear.

I'm in a quandary. Perhaps I shall leave this blog as it is and simply attempt to put all those words in my head into a different format. Like a book. Or perhaps I should use the anonymous blog I have already created but not posted to yet, to write about the occasional thing that I really need to get off my brain without anyone being the wiser. I can rant with impunity. Oh the heady freedom.

So fellow bloggers, WWYD?

Are you a competitive parent?

The parenting scale looks something like this:

On the one side:
Psychotically competitive with a win at all costs ethos. These parents are the ones that insist their three year olds learn Mandarin and violin and who probably go to job interviews with their 20 year olds to ensure they say the right thing.

And on the other:
Completely horizontal to the point of disinterest. Let kids be kids. It'll all balance out. They'll find their way. Doesn't matter what they achieve as long as they're happy (or I'm happy as I quaff my chablis ignoring reading homework or the fact that they're still in nappies aged 7).

Now with any scale, what you're aiming for is moderation. Somewhere in the middle that provides a good balance. But most parents will probably sit slightly on one side or the other (after all, that pointy bit in the middle is a bit uncomfy).

And I definitely sit on the competitive parenting side. I try hard not to. I really do. I tell myself it's not about winning, it's about doing your best. My head believes this. My heart can't help but feel a little gutted when my kids don't get a certificate or win a race or get picked for something or aren't moved up a reading level. I feel as though it's my failing, not their's, as though I should have done more to help them.

Which let's face it, is nuts. But I can't help myself. I want my children to do well.

I'm NOT one of those parents who insists their children learn a foreign language or a muscial instrument or spend hours training for a sport or hothouse at home doing handwriting, reading and maths from age 1.

But I do ensure that effort is put into homework (and I can't believe I'm the only parent who excitedly waits for the homework to be marked to see what we got what my child got). And my children do have a schedule that looks like this:
Monday - cricket
Tues - homework day
Wed - tag rugby (used to be Beaver's too but son1 decided it was boring)
Thur - swimming
Friday - football practice
Sat - cricket
Sun - football matches for one and rugby for the other

Fine print: they do also spend an inordinate amount of time doing nothing but stare at a tv and they get to play plenty of games too that don't involve a screen.

Which for a 5 and 7 year old seems a little mad. My rationale for this much activity is partly because I want to knacker them out and instil a love of sport and fitness in them so that they don't turn into obese teens, standing listlessly on a street corner waiting for trouble to find them. But it's also because I want to expose them to different things so that should they possibly have a hidden talent (which if they do they don't get from me) it has a chance to shine. I do not insist that they are the best at what they do. I do encourage them to be a team player, a good sport and to enjoy it.

But secretly I want them to do well. I'd like them to get picked for something. Possibly just because I have visions of them became famous sports people who'll earn a fortune and buy me a tropical island somewhere some day.

This all reared its head today when I saw a poster for football trials for an elite football team. Basically, they have scouts looking at little kids to see who has potential and if they're accepted they get trained up to a mega standard.

This posed a quandary. Yes I would like my son to try out. No it's highly unlikely that he's in the top 2% of ability in our region. Yes we will have to deal with the fall out and crushed ego if he's not accepted, particularly if his friend is. But yes, learning that you don't always win is a good life lesson. And No, I really don't want my son to be a professional footballer, regardless of how many tropical islands he could afford to buy me (not that I'm getting ahead of myself or anything).

So we're going to have a go. And I have warned him that it might come to nothing, but all that is important is that he has a go and tries his best. And if he isn't picked, he still gets to play his usual brilliant way for his normal team. But the question isn't really how he'll feel if he's not picked, it's how I'll feel.  And I think we all know how that will be.

So where do you fit on the scale?

Virtual reality

'How do you deal with your ex-husband and his girlfriend living in your house?' 

'So I asked my therapist if I could skype her.'

'I found writing a form of therapy during my cancer.'

'I'm faking it till I make it'.

'Dancing with my teenage daughter was beautiful.'

'Vaginal dryness and hot flushes. The menopause is the next big thing.'

'He asked me out for coffee!!!!'

You might hear statements like these bandied about between old friends who've shared a lifetime of experience together. They're not the kind of things you discuss at first pass of meeting someone. So when you do find yourself looking into a stranger's face but discussing deeply personal things, it's odd. Counter-intuitive.

Yet at Cybermummy, that is exactly what you do. Because the people you're talking to might look unfamiliar, but you know their deepest secrets....and they know yours. What's more, you feel as though you know more about them than you do your real life friends.

And then you bump into a face you've only ever seen on a computer screen. Suddenly they become three-dimensional. You can't help but whoop and hug and shout: "Hellooooo!" It's a virtual reality game that suddenly becomes completely real. And there is genuine joy in the experience.

At the end of Cybermummy we were asked to tweet our favourite bit. I couldn't define one single moment. What made the experience special for me wasn't the talks or the goodie bags or the prizes or the speakers. It was simply being given the chance to bring online characters to life. I wonder now, having met those characters whether it'll colour the way I read their words. Like when you read a book and then see the film and then re-read the book. Does the book seem different?

It might. It'll probably be better. But bottomline, they'll still be a must read.

Thanks to all the lovely ladies I met at Cybermummy yesterday and thanks to the organisers for a great day.

Cybermummy for the less well organised

Well tomorrow is the big day. Cybermummy day. Until three days ago, I really haven't thought much about this. The rest of the blogosphere and twitter seems to be going slightly mad about what to wear and how to get there and where to stay and who to talk to. People have found sponsors for the day, are getting sponsored by companies to dress them, have sponsored car shares, hotels paid for, business cards made, parties planned including pre parties tonight. The excitement about it almost leads me to believe that most mummy bloggers don't get out much (well PTA meetings don't count).

On the other hand, I  plan on catching a train into London bright and early tomorrow morning. I'm going to wear flat shoes and a comfy dress. Fashion always losing over comfort in my book. I'll decide on the day which talks I want to listen to. I've arranged to meet three bloggers who I have been dying to meet in person for ages (MTJAM, Iota and Nicola). And there are several others who I hope to get to say hello to. I've also been invited to a party for expat mums (thank you Michelloui The American Resident). And then I'll make my way home.

I am excited about going - mainly because I'll get to meet the aforementioned bloggers and it's a day out in London without children (can't sniff at that). But I do feel as though I am going without a purpose. I'm not there in the capacity of a PR person given I've just sold my PR business. And I'm highly unlikely to become a blogger who actively seeks sponsorship or PR opps or tries to earn a living from it. Getting some more technical knowledge would be good and some writing advice is always welcome.  And the keynote by Sarah Brown is definitely worth going for.

Other than that, I'm agenda free. This makes me worry that I won't get the most out of it. And that I'll come home and wish I'd had a clearer agenda before I got there.

But I think I'm just going to treat it as a day out. Hopefully I'll learn something. Hopefully I'll get to meet some lovely people. Perhaps optimistically I'll be inspired to give my blog a makeover.

I did my Cybermummy meet and greet a while ago - here it is again. If you see me, say hello. You might find me hiding in the chill out room.

I'm in the market for a new career - inspire me

I've been wanting to blog about this for some time but couldn't until I'd made an official business announcement. But now I have. You can read it here.

In short, I have sold my PR business. From August I will officially be unemployed. Stretching before me is a blank canvas, just waiting for me to colour it with something exciting.

My challenge is, I don't know what that something is. 

Here's my CV: I studied PR for three years. Then I studied small business management for 6 months. Then I studied marketing for another three years. I have worked in PR for about 18 years in South Africa, the USA and the UK. Frankly, I am over it. I need to do something new, I just have no idea what.

Several people have suggested I write a novel. I'd love to. But I really don't know if I have the talent and I'm battling to find a story. I don't want to be 'another writer'. Sure, I'd love to be JK Rowling or Stephanie Myer with multi-billion pound franchises. But I reckon that's what most novelists aspire to. Not many make it. I'm not trying to be a pessimist. Just a realist.

Then I look at my other interests and passions. I like to cook. I like to bake. I have always envisaged running a little tea room filled with girly pink bunting and decadent cakes. But the reality of that dream is working almost every hour in every day to make a pittance. I want to earn enough money to make the hours worthwhile. And I want to be able to see my children.

I like sailing and the outdoors, walking, treasure hunts, organising children's parties, using my imagination and being sociable. I wish I was better with my hands - making things. But I suck at that. I have lots of ideas for other people's businesses. And I've had a few ideas of my own. Nothing that sets my pants on fire enough to want to invest blood, sweat and tears into it.

And that's part of the problem. Having run my own business, I think I'd find it impossible to go work for someone else unless they were radically flexible about hours. So I think I'll have to run my own business but I also know what that means. When I set up my PR business, I had no idea that running your own business meant such long hours and a feeling that you could never turn work off. I know that if I set up another business, I will need to be really passionate about whatever it is so that I don't mind making those sacrifices.

I would also like to do something worthwhile, that makes a difference to people, rather than just trying to flog the next gadget. But I'm too much of a capitalist to work entirely selflessly for a charity. And the charity begging is almost as noisy to me as the PR and marketing 'Me Me Me' cacophony is.

Finally, I am tired of working alone. While I love working at home (hence the blog title), it does get lonely. It would be lovely to have someone to team up with, to share the highs and the lows. To take on the scary bits together. To brainstorm and be creative and think we can take on the world. But finding that person is hard.

So help me please. Inspire me. Throw suggestions at me. I welcome all ideas.

If nothing comes to me, I might just have to take some time out, put my feet up, gaze at my navel and be a kept woman. I can think of worse things....