I have many things to worry about in life. Often it's work related. More often it's something to do with the children - particuarly the kind of thoughts you have at 3am when husband is away on business for a week and I imagine 'what if I fall down the stairs and crack my head open and the kids will be trapped inside the house and what will they do' type things (which usually results in them having a lesson on how to unlock a door and call 999 first thing in the morning).
But there is one thing that I don't worry about. Well not much. And that's how I look. Sure I'm like everyone else. I grab the baby belly and wish it wasn't there. I stare at my wrinkles and do imaginary plastic surgery to see if I can ever look 20 again. I spend too much money getting my hair cut and coloured only to hate it the minute I walk out of the hairdressers. And I stare at my cupboard full of clothes and lament that I have nothing to wear.
But while I might occasionally wish that I looked a bit more fashionable, really, how fashionable do you need to be to walk up to road to the school gate (when the school gate is in the countryside in deepest, darkest West Berkshire)? And it's not like I then race into a glamorous job surrounded by people. It's just me at my desk in my office at home, with a possible visit from the postie or Ocado man. It doesn't call for high fashion does it? I can go an entire week (possibly more) when I don't even take my mascara out (I can hear people in London fainting as I type this).
Yet I have just finished skimming a copy of Harper's Bazaar magazine that came with a SHE magazine. I don't normally buy high fashion mags (see above as to why). I flicked through it, staring at the Top 20 most fashionable people of the year and the must have fashions for the year ahead (they're shite - who wants to look like a throw back to the 80s with shoulder pads so pointy you could have someone's eye out?)
And it occurred to me that there must be any number of people out there who spend a huge amount of time worrying about what they wear and what they look like. Imagine going out in something that was last season? The shame. My clothes are so out of date that they're almost back in fashion. And it's not just the clothes, it's the accessories, make up, beauty lotions and potions, hair, jewellery and then, making sure you're at the IT places so that you can show it all off.
My scruffy jeans, jumpers with bobbles on them and sailing boots (my current IT look) might not make me feel lovely (and we all like to feel lovely) but at least I don't have the angst that goes with high fashion. And given all that us mothers have to worry about, fashion just doesn't need to be on the list.
So today I am going to wear my not so glamorous attire with pride and know that it represents a calmer, more peaceful me with one less thing to worry about.
P.S. I just typed this and realised that today I DO actually have a meeting with clients and people in a fashionable place. Hmm. Maybe I will worry about fashion just for today. But from tomorrow I'm back to not giving my wardrobe a second thought.