Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Let it work

I have a friend who has been trying to have a baby for many, many years. I've lost track of how many courses of IUI and IVF she and her husband have undertaken. She is now 3 weeks away from turning 40 and today she underwent her final IVF treatment.

Having conceived two babies by apparently just walking past my husband, I have no concept of what it must be like to have to go through the hell they've had to endure. I cannot imagine the utter despair they must feel everytime she has a period. And I can't begin to think what's it's like watching all your friends push babies out with alarming regularity while your own family stays as a couple.

There have been many times that I've envied their exotic holidays away and long lie ins on the weekend, the freedom to do the things that they want to do, the fact that she still has fashionable, lovely clothes instead of something bought in Sainsbury's (because you don't have the time or money to go anywhere else).

I've tried to explain what impact having children has on your relationship, your social life, your body and your bank balance, all in a bid to make her feel better about her lot. But it doesn't matter how hard being a parent can be, if it's something you want to experience, not being able to experience it is cruel.

Right at this very moment, two little eggs could be doing what little eggs are meant to do. Sticking in the right place, growing and turning into babies. I am hoping with every single fibre of my being that that is exactly what is happening.

If you're of a religious persuasion, have good karmic skills or just want to send positive vibes her way, please do. No-one deserves a baby more.


nappy valley girl said...

I am wafting positive vibes over the Atlantic.

A close friend of mine finally got pregnant last year after many years of trying, rounds of IVF etc. It happened naturally, just at the point she was giving up and despairing. I hope this happens for your friend too.

Heather said...

oh i have my fingers crossed for her, hope it works out!

b said...

Fingers crossed and positive vibes are flowing to your friend, I have had a couple of girlfriends in the same situation over the years and it is so hard to see their pain, when like you I conceived so easily.

Amelia said...

yes, I know what you mean. I have to remind myself how lucky I am to have been able to have two kids (especially after being told I probably wouldn't be able to have kids when I was young) even though it is sometimes the hardest most stressful, thing especially parenting one with special needs.

I will send positive vibes!


Anonymous said...

Oh how hard. The 'two week wait' is a marathon to get through, and you will be feeling very helpless as her friend. I hope it works for her, I really do.

katyboo1 said...

Everything is crossed.xx

Home Office Mum said...

Thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts. Here's hoping it goes to plan

Nicola said...

I feel for her. And will be thinking of her and those 'potential' babies. Keep us updated. Send her my love. xx