Tired woman returns. Briefly

I know. I've been missing in action. I've explained why here. I am so, so, so tired. But I feel duty bound to pop in and say hello to you lovely blogging people and sorry that I've been negligent in my commenting efforts.

I know I have news. I'm sure I have much to tell you. I'm sure that it's hilarious and wonderful stuff. But it's currently having a nap in a dark corner of my brain.

The only thing I can remember with any clarity about the last few days is this delightful conversation with my 3 year old yesterday, in which we discussed the merits of healthy eating. I was trying to explain why being too fat (I was going to say overweight for sake of political correctness but he's three and understands thin and fat, big and small, round and square - i.e. words with a single syllable) isn't very good for your health.

And he pipes up: "You mean fat like you mummy?"

So that was nice. Kinda sums up how things have been.

Kiss kiss

End of week energy depletion

I have started this blog post many times and just keep deleting what I type. Because quite frankly I am bored of writing about how my children are driving me mad. So I'm fairly certain you all must be bored of reading about it. These last three weeks have been hard, hard work. First half term. Then child 2 sick. Then child 1 sick. Now both in recovery phase which is worse than both of them being sick together. And now I am feeling poorly but have had an immensely busy work time over the last three days with no chance for a rest. All I want to do is cuddle up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and stay that way all weekend (although I might need my wine stocks to be replenished).

But husband has had a very busy, difficult week having to lay off people. So he is just as pooped. And unless we can magic a nanny or a granny out of thin air, our well laid plans of remaining horizontal on the sofa all weekend are going to come to nothing. Instead we'll break up fights, play snakes and ladders, make food that is pronounced disgusting and ignored, get some food shopping and do chores. The weather is pants. And life looks bleak. There are times that I envy our childless friends.

I'm tired. Can you tell?

This weekend I do also have to do something about Christmas. The last posting day for the rest of the world which is where my family lives, is 4 Dec. And so far I've bought nil presents. I have written a list (checked it twice just to make sure who's been naughty or nice) and so far it's looking pretty dispiritingly long. Obviously everyone has been good this year. There are so many people to buy for. So many presents to think of. So much international postage to pay. Am thinking camels, goats and other charity-related gifts might be the way to go. Feed the world, make it a better place, save on shopping hours and postage costs. Not to mention saving the environment by not flying parcels around the globe and not generating more packaging waste. Its all good. Spirit of giving and peace on earth and all that. But it's not quite the same as opening something shiny, is it?

So that's my big goal for the weekend. Although I'm going to have to give myself a serious motivational talk between now and tomorrow if I hope to get my bum off the sofa at all.

Right I'm off to summon up my last ounce of energy to get the kids bathed and into bed. Dishes be damned. Then I have a date with the remote control, sofa and my chilly friend chardonnay.

Too....tired....to....work...

I should at this very moment be writing my new plan that will see my home office turn into a global PR empire. I should be coming up with extensive action plans and to do lists. It's not like I even have to do the stuff on the to do lists, I just need to write them. But when you are very, very tired, your brain doesn't work. And I don't think writing a business plan with a tired brain is going to result in a very effective business. Certainly not one that is going to take over the PR world in a masterful feat of world domination type of way.

I am tired because my husband is away. Again. And I'm experiencing my first full week of both children going to school/pre-school. This has meant a) no Wednesday off like I normally have b) I have to make dinner every night because the nursey isn't feeding them anymore c) I have to make packed lunches every day d) I seem to have to wash and dry uniforms hourly and e) I have to pack gym bags, book bags, spare pants in case of pee accident bags, sign homework books, ensure show and tell stuff is done and sign a million forms. Each little thing takes up a few of my brain cells, and believe me, given the amount of wine I have drunk in my 35 years, there aren't many of the fellows left. This means the remaining brain cells have to work twice as hard, hence the tired brain syndrome that I seem to be experiencing.

And then there's the pirate pizza party looming on the horizon that needs organising. Today I made the foolish mistake of taking both boys directly from school to Tesco's to buy party supplies. A rookie mistake and one I shouldn't have made but I did (mainly because I just don't have another chance to do it). So I had to deal with the consequences of my 4.5 year old not being able to choose the prize for the pass the parcel game (because he wanted something large and very expensive and I wanted a £2 Mr Men pirate book). And so he unleashed his fine set of lungs upon the poor Tesco shoppers. It's amazing how a small person's voice can reverberate off the ceilings of such a vast space. He was so loud that people literally flocked from across the store in the hope of seeing something incredibly exciting, like someone losing an arm in a wood chipper. But all they saw was one small, tired boy exceptionally unhappy with his lot in life, and they left tutting about how he needs a good smack and 'if only parents could control their children' etc. Which is always nice and soothing to one's stress levels.

Tomorrow I get to do all of the above mentioned bag packing and brief child 1 on what he needs to do for show and tell (apparently it's a lot of showing and not much telling). Then I get to launch a client, write the business plan I should be doing now, all my regular day to day work, then fetch kids, take them to swimming lessons, feed them, and then spend my evening inflating a large plastic pirate ship which is going to become a ball pool. I've had to do this because it's guaranteed to rain on Saturday which means I can't send the kids out onto the trampoline to bounce off the e-numbers from the party sweets, and our lawn is so long we'd definitely lose children, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but their parents might complain.

And Friday isn't shaping up to be much easier as I have to (after work) make pizza dough, fairy cakes, prepare pizza toppings, prepare fairy cake toppings including tiny little pirate sails on cocktail sticks, blow up balloons, vacuum the gunge on the downstairs floors, wrap the pass the parcel, string up pirate bunting, strategically position chairs around our kitchen island to accomodate 8 mini pizza chefs dressed as pirates, and drink several vats of wine.

So this is why I'm tired. You see I don't make it up. I really do have quite a lot to do. And one thing I shouldn't be doing is whittering on here when I have a billion other more enterprising things to do. But this is where I brain dump. It's my mental spa. A mini brain massage before carrying on....But my de-stress time is over. Time to crack on.