My deleted items folder in Outlook currently has 6921 items in it. They really do need to be permanently deleted (although the minute I do that I will need something incredibly important that no longer exists). But then I got to thinking: where do all those permanently deleted items go?
I mean one minute they're there, the next they're not. Is there an email heaven? And if so, surely there must be also be an email hell because there's no way emails with subject lines like: 'Want a bigger penis?'. Or 'Turn her into a pleasure machine' are ever going to make it into heaven.
Do you think deleted emails sit there chatting amongst themselves wondering when the Big Moment will arise when they'll be permanently deleted? Do you think they have counsellors to chat through their 'issues', or possibly feelings of depression at having been deleted in the first place? Do you think they're really envious of the other emails that made it into an important folder - like say one called 'Clients' or 'Jokes'. And do you think they laugh at those same important emails when they too finally get turfed into the deleted folder (which in my case is a very rare occurence) or perhaps they commiserate?
And what about the collective knowledge that those deleted emails contain? Wouldn't it be great if there was some way of siphoning off the cumulative intelligence (obviously dimished by some not very clever emails like the aforementioned viagra spam) which could be used to add extra virtual memory to your pc?
Sorry. I'll stop. My husband will no doubt think that this train of thought is on a par with my musings abour whether the last pea on a plate or chip in a bowl suffers from feelings of rejection or an inferiority complex.
But you know, I just wondered that's all.