Thursday, 19 March 2009

Call the fashion police

There is one part of my life that isn't extraordinarily busy - thank god - and that's my social life. I don't really have one. Staying in is the new going out. Has been for a while actually. Except that last night I threw caution to the wind and actually left the village. Shock.

It was a friend's birthday and it happened to coincide with a special ladies shopping evening at the House of Fraser in Reading. It was an invitation only thing where you go along in the evening, have champagne and nibbles, listen to the Dior make up team tell you how you could look 20 years younger if you spend about £1 million on their products, followed by a talk on how to wear this year's fashions if you're a normal person with an oversized gut/butt/chest etc. You then get to browse the store after its normal closing hours.

Ordinarily I would have been very excited about this. I am clueless in the fashion department and need all the help I can get (although recently I have made some headway on the skin regime front given that my 36 years are making themselves quite prominently visible on my face. The saying shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted springs to mind...) However, right about now fashion isn't high on my list of priorities.

For a start, I have no money. Every last penny I have (which isn't many) is dedicated to the sailing fund. My clothing requirements have also changed. Last weekend, while in the Isle of Wight, instead of buying a maxi dress and strappy sandals in preparation for summer, I bought £60 worth of thermal underwear. As you do.

Normally I'd love nothing more than a couple of hours to browse clothes without small childen pulling things off hangers and opening dressing room doors to reveal my flab to passersby. But last night shopping had lost its gloss. There is absolutely no point looking when you can't buy. All it does is depress you. It makes you realise how utterly 'off trend' your existing wardrobe is and what's worse, how little you actually care.

When I got to the shoe department (most women's idea of heaven, my personal hell) I actually laughed out loud at some of the ludricous heels they expect people to walk in. Sure you'll look great while you're standing still holding onto something, but not so fab the minute you try to walk unaided.

So after a cursory look around, my friend and I left, without a single purchase. At least now I know that I can expect to see lots of lime green and orange this year and that for my colouring I should attempt to wear it. That you should never wear mid-calve length anything, that Oasis makes good jeans and Coast does good shrugs. Patterns are in. Fine. As are harem pants. Not fine.

Best of all though, one of the biggest trends for 2009 is the nautical look. So I reckon I'm going to be bang up to date with real nautical authenticity. Hooray! I am fashionable after all.

13 comments:

Wife in Hong Kong said...

It's official - you're a trend setter! What use would killer heels be on deck in any case?

Ali said...

Oh my god. The harem pants. What's that all about? I had a moment of being semi-tempted to buy some a couple of weeks ago (for thigh-disugising, you understand) but then I realised what I was thinking and gave myself a good slap!

I gave you an award yesterday, by the way. For the other blog, because I figure any promotion for it is good! Also because I think it's a pretty cool reason to start a blog and I like it.
x

Home Office Mum said...

Wife in HK - I know. Me a trend setter. There's a title I never thought I'd have.

Thanks for the award Ali. Much appreciated. Will go check it out.

rosiescribble said...

I adore clothes, but as you say sometimes other things take a higher priority. I love to dress up but don't get to go out that often these days. Good to hear the nautical look as returned. I remember it being around about 10 years ago. Just as well I don't still have these clothes - they would be depressingly tight now!

b said...

Thanks for this years fashion tipoffs, like you I have been hibernating and not worrying about clothes, need to hit the gym before I can do any spring/summer shopping.

Expat mum said...

Thanks for popping over. I am so with you on the shopping thing - hate it with a passion. It used to be because of my poor body image, but now it's a combination of me not going anywhere and me not being arsed!

katyboo1 said...

I used to have a pair of harem pants in the early nineties. They made me look like I was wearing a giant nappy. I can't imagine they've improved since then. once in a lifetime is enough.

I shall dust off the sou wester though.

Welsh Girl said...

I am so horribly behind on fashion now that I can't even fake being close to trendy. All my trousers are bootleg which apparently is sartorial death. I don't have knee high boots that come outside my non existent skinny jeans (which would look repellent on my vast thighs anyway) and I think Harem pants are stupid.

My plan is to just avoid all clothes shops until fashion changes into something that I like and can actually wear without looking ridiculous. It may be some time....

Helen said...

The great thing about being in the sailing world is that one does not need to "dress up"! I once went to an autograph night of a couple that has sailed around the world twice and the wife told me that they rarely wore formal clothes and that they usually had two pairs of shoes each! Of course, when you are sailing in colder climates, you might need to cover up a little, but for the trip down to Rio, you will probably find that you can travel pretty light!! And harem pants are just NOT on...

Home Office Mum said...

Rosiescribble, i have clothes from 10 years ago and it really is time for a cupboard clean out.

b- don't take my word on the fashion tips, i had had two glasses of champagne so might not have been concentrating very hard.

Expat mum - I am exactly the same. I go nowhere so why get dressed up for it?

Katyboo - I do hope you have a picture of you in your harem pants. They would undoubtably make a fab blog post

Welsh - I'm with you mate. Bootcut trousers all the way. Skinny it makes me look like one of those ballerinas in a music box

Helen - I'm seriously hoping that that I can travel light to Rio given I'm allowed just one small kit bag for five weeks!

that girl? said...

I will be getting out my blue and white striped (kind of nautical I guess) t shirt and be wearing it in your honour then! Can't promise that it will not be teamed with heels though at some point! I am one of those shoe suckers who suffers for her art - at least one day a week (always when Small Child is in pre school for less stress), I do get some stupid heels out! I find clinging onto the food shopping trolley helps when this un-sensible urge takes over!

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Jayne said...

thanks for new tips but as every one know 's that fashion always go back 10 years