Mother's Day?

I've come to the realisation that Mother's Day is the day on which you do what you do every other day, only you begrudge it more.

I got to spend my mother's day visiting my mother in law. I like my mother in law. She deserves a visit on Mother's Day.

However, it does mean that I got to spend 3 hours on Saturday and another 3 on Sunday trying to entertain small boys who were unwillingly strapped into the carseats as we hurtled up and down British motorways. I got to break up fights about whose hands were on the wrong side of the invisible dividing line on the back seat. I got to provide an endless supply of snacks and rummage in my bag for something suitable to catch carsick with (which luckily ended up not being needed but the continual 'I feel sick' whinge from the back seat had me on tenterhooks for most of the journey). I got to play 'eye spy' and 'guess the animal' on repeat cycle. And I got to answer the question 'Are we there yet?' more times than I care to remember.

Once there, things didn't improve. My mum-in-law is of the WW2 generation so the use of central heating is strictly for days when polar bears actually stroll through your garden. At all other times, the wearing of several jumpers (and coats) is the way to stay warm. She lives in a part of the north that could be a poster child for reasons why old mining towns should have been shut down when the mines were. It has no redeeming features. You don't want to venture outside. But sitting inside doesn't provide a myriad of exciting things to do, unless you count telling your children not to juggle granny's china.

Upon arrival, my husband sat in front of the TV and watched two six nations rugby matches back to back, leaving me to entertain the children. Again. By the time bedtime came, I felt thoroughly deserving of some Mother's Day R&R.

Despite getting up twice in the night to deal with crying children, I did actually get a lie in. Till 7.10am. At which point the boys came in and thrust cards at me. This was the highlight on the day. They were sweet and gave me cuddles. And one of the cards included a voucher for a day spa. Hooray!

However, the rest of the morning was spent with me trying to reclaim some time to myself, while being well aware that my husband was sighing a lot. I know how he feels. When it's father's day I'm just as happy with life. Why the hell should he get to sit and be lord of the house while I do everything, again? So he was no doubt feeling the same way. But tough. It was Mother's Day and I'd already forgone doing what I wanted to do, so an hour to read my book alone shouldn't be too much to ask for right? Apparently it was.

We spent another morning passing the time waiting for lunch, which was very kind of my mother in law to lay on given she's a mother too. But I still would have preferred to go to a restaurant, instead of feeling that I had to help with the washing up.

And then we left. Had a repeat journey. Upon arriving home, I got stuck into tidying up the house in preparation for the week ahead. Dinner was a bowl of cereal. And that folks, was it. Woohoo!

Now had that been any other weekend, I would have thought - hard work, but visiting granny is important. But on Mother's Day weekend, as I said at the start, I just begrudged it a bit. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alone in feeling this way. This morning there are no doubt mothers up and down the country wondering what happened to their day off. Don't worry ladies, there's always next year!

~~~

On a less selfish note, please spare a thought for all the mothers out there who don't ever get to enjoy a mother's day as they very sadly die in childbirth. The White Ribbon Alliance and Mummo, have launched a Million Mums campaign to raise awareness of maternal mortality and are hoping to get a million mums to donate a pound to this worthwhile cause. Visit the website here and read a fab mag created by Mummo, written by mums for mums. Please spread the word about the Million Mums campaign and pass the magazine link on to whoever you can.

Mother's Day Blogging Competition

Mother's Day is looming (22 March in case you didn't know. Well in the UK anyway, in the rest of the world it's in May so don't panic if you're living abroad).

I find Mother's Day an odd thing. I mean besides being a cash cow for Hallmark, why does it exist? Is it to celebrate being a mother and therefore you should spend time with your family revelling in your all singing, all dancing role of MOTHER (or the Mumendant as my ex-military husband likes to call me). OR is it (as I believe it to be) the one sodding day of the year when you don't have to do everything. It's your annual day off. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Except that despite having been a mother for five years now, Mother's Day still seems to belong to my mother and mother-in-law. So instead of lying in bed, being served a delicious breakfast that I won't have to clean up after, followed by a morning of retail therapy washed down with a spa treatment or two, I'll be up in Yorkshire giving my mum-in-law a day like this instead. Only not quite. She, unlike me, won't feel the need for retail therapy or a spa treatment. Because her son is now 41 and to the best of my knowledge, he stopped drawing on walls and hitting people with plastic swords quite some time ago.

So we'll spend the day watching our little boys trash her house, while I help prepare lunch for her. And that's fine. She deserves it. But it comes back to this whole concept of getting a smidgeon of time for yourself every now and then. Which - as some of you now know - is one of the reasons I'm getting five weeks to myself in the middle of the Atlantic later this year. Not quite the same as an aromatherapy massage admittedly - I'll still have no sleep, back breaking work and lots of cooking and cleaning up to do, but there'll probably be less lego involved.

A client of mine, MamaBabyBliss, conducted a survey with mums at the Baby Show late last year. We asked them questions about how much time in any given day they get to themselves. Here are the results:

• 76.6% of mums feel that they neglect themselves in favour of putting their families first


• 60% of mums spend less than 30 minutes on themselves per day


• 25% of mums have a mere 15 minutes or less to themselves per day


• 67.5% of mums said they only treated themselves to a pampering session - like a massage, beauty treatment or long soak in the tub - ‘a few times a year’ or ‘never’


• 93.6% of the mums said that they wish they had more time to pamper themselves

My response to those bulleted items are:

• exactly, which is why I'm finally doing something about it


• I probably spend less than 30 minutes a day on myself - it used to be less than 15 when the boys were younger. Trying to apply mascara with someone tugging on your trouser leg can result in injury.


• I can't remember when last I had a pampering session. My daily treat is a shower in the morning. I used to have the children in the bathroom with me, trying to climb into the shower, flushing each other's heads down the loo, licking the toilet brush, spreading Bob the Builder and his myriad of hard spiky plastic friends across the floor, just waiting in anticipation of my bare feet. All a very relaxing experience. But they've now been trained to stay glued to Cbeebies giving me a blissful ten minutes alone. My bikini line requires a strimmer and my feet last had a pedicure when we last had a hot summer. So some time ago then.


• And yes, yes, yes I wish I had more time to pamper myself. But I don't think I'll be fitting that in this year. Not in the massage type of way anyway.

So in honour of the impending Mother's Day, Justina from MamaBabyBliss, and I are hoping to get a movement going in which mums actually say: Time out! Time to pamper me. We're hosting a Mother's Day Blogging competition.

You write a blog post about the subject of pampering yourself/time to yourself. We don't mind if it's a funny story, a sad tale of woe, some practical tips, your best escape ever - just tell us your 'me time' story. All we ask is that you include a reference (and link) to MamaBabyBliss - you're free to quote the stats. Then send me the link melissa[at]peekaboocoms[dot]co[dot]uk so that I can have a good read.The authors of the first twenty posts I receive will get a bottle of MamaBabyBliss 'Ooh' Bath Soak sent to you (so I'll need your address for that). It's lovely. It smells of lavender. It'll make you drift off to sleep (only to be woken up at 4am no doubt but it'll be good while it lasts).

Then Justina will judge which post she likes best and will send the winner the absolutely gorgeous Mother's Day Gift box worth £40. We've already got entries in so get writing!

And in case I don't have time, a happy mother's day in advance for all the mums out there. May the peace (and quiet) be with you.