Tuesday, 9 September 2008

The Business Link Man is coming. I'm a bit twitchy

I have a vast amount of work to do but I can't settle down and do it. That's because I have a man from Business Link coming to see me in about 15 minutes time. Since setting up my little business 2 years ago, I've yet to get any real expert advice so I'm a little nervous in case the man falls off his chair laughing at me when I start describing the way I work. I think they're trained not to do that. Or at least I hope they are, even if inside they are tutting and clucking at the idiot small business owners they have to meet.

I've written a list of all the things I want to ask him, but I fear that the allocated hour won't get us through more than the top 3 items. I've also printed off my business plan, such as it is, and I've vaccuumed the downstairs bit of the house, put away the toys and cleaned the kitchen in the hope that it projects a professional 'office' environment. Ordinarily I would take him into our drawing room - which is the smart grown up room that is never used - but it is currently filled with piles of clothes destined for a women's refuge shelter and eBay sales. Plus there's the start of a 1000 piece puzzle scattered on the coffee table and which is likely to stay that way until the children leave home. I won't show him my study which looks as though the taliban have been carrying out bomb detonation training classes in it.

I've put some lipstick on and changed out of my slippers and into real shoes. I'm all twitchy. I keep telling myself that this isn't a test. It's not the taxman. He's just a nice government-funded expert to help me grow my business. Yet my heart is racing. I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of. Him telling me that I've been doing everything wrong. Or him telling me that I've been doing everything right and now here's another million things to do. Because I'm just not sure when I'm going to be able to do them. Ordinarily I would say between 2 and 3am, but son 2 seems to have taken that slot with his nightly birthday cake nightmares. Every night he wakes up in a vile temper, flinging his moo moo cow across the room and shouting that I've made the wrong birthday cake. Yesterday I was told that it had to be a dinosaur cake, despite it being a pirate party. I don't know how to make a dinosaur cake. However, I could stick the plastic dino toys into some buttercream icing atop a fairy cake. I wonder if that will cut it?

Sorry, I'm wibbling. Just nervous. Better get off blog and mentally prepare. Practice my birth breathing. Who would have thought it would come in handy so often?


Anonymous said...

Don't worry Home Office Mum - you might find that you know more than the Business Link Man !

Welsh Girl said...

Dinosaur cake - couldn't you adapt the Hedgehog cake with the giant chocolate buttons down the back and do a Triceratops thingummy? Ask the business link man - I bet he knows how to do it...... Hope it goes well. I won't let them cross my threshold in case they tell me I'm not working hard enough or don't know what I am doing. :)

Helen said...

i saw this and so thought of you :) if only it worked!

Rockerelli said...

http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/index.html got me out of a snot inducing (me) hand wringing (me) screaming (he and I) mad moment when hot out of the oven my 3 year old announced he did not want THAT spiderman cake he had asked for every day for 6 months but specifically a RED power ranger JUNGLE FURY cake. needless to say it ended up looking like a deranged goblin with black marigolds on - but i was very impressed with this site and my son was suitably speechless and high on e-numbers form the eventual cake. problem solved.

Home Office Mum said...

Thanks Helen. Yes I do need one of those, if only they worked. You were right arabella, I did know more than the business link man, but at least he reminded me about what I need to do. Welsh girl, I don't think I know how to make the hedgehog cake so adapting it into a triceratops might be a bridge too far. Think I might be visiting rockerelli's suggested site. Thanks for that.