I think I might start to enjoy my children soon. They're becoming all grown up and can have actual conversations that are relatively interesting. What's more, they make me feel omnipotent, as though I am the world's most intelligent human being because I can answer things like: what happens when you go to jail?
Before you get excited, no I don't have first hand experience of prison, but son 1's godfather is a prison officer so I feel very well informed. I told them that you sit in a small room called a cell that has big bars on it so you can't get out. But you are allowed out for some meals and some fresh air in the yard where you might do some exercises (think I've watched a few too many prison flicks). You could have heard a pin drop such was the gobsmacked silence from the two of them for about 5 seconds as they took it in. Then a barrage of questions unfolded.
How do they get locked in? A big key
How do they get out? Same big key
Are they allowed breakfast? If they're good
Do they stay in prison forever? Not with today's current overcrowding situation
Why do you go to prison? Because you do something bad
Like what? Sigh. Like stealing.
Or killing someone? Yes.
How do they kill someone? Let's not talk about that now just before bedtime.
Can they get tools and escape from prison? Well yes occasionally, but then your godfather (codename: Captain Haddock) would catch them.
Silence. Does Captain Haddock really catch prisoners? Yes. Sort of.
Wow. Stunned silence. Captain Haddock expect many, many questions next time you come to visit.
All of this came about as a result of a reading a book called Icky Doo Dah and the Royal Bling or something. And Icky Doo Dah wasn't a particularly nice chap who stole some jewels and then tried to blame it on a dog, cat and fish. This in itself led to a very interesting conversation about how fish couldn't really steal jewels because they can't really walk. Son 1 believes they can. I proceeded to explain how gills worked, once again proving my incredible awe-inspiring knowledge.
I do believe that my children now think they have the cleverest mum on the planet. I used to think that when I was little. Not only could my mum sew and cook and do DIY, she knew the answers to everything. I now question whether she truly did know the answers to everything (sorry mom) - but at least she could sew and do DIY which a lot more than I can do.
I hope that my children's belief in my super wisdom lasts for some time but I fear that they might become sceptical quite soon, far too soon for my liking. But at least for now we can have good conversations - where they can ask reasonable questions and I can give whatever answers I like and everyone leaves happy. Fabulous.