Tuesday, 10 February 2009

The fat envelope has arrived

It came in today's post with a satisfying thunk through the door. It contained a letter saying that my application was successful and that I've been offered a berth on the race. It also had a long contract outlining just how much it's going to cost me, my commitments and many other scary things. So I promptly signed it, enclosed a cheque for £500 and posted it before I could change my mind.

The deed is done. GULP. There is no going back now.

I now wait to hear back from the training officer to tell me dates when I can go freeze my bits off in the seas surrounding the UK and the marketing team to give me guidelines about sponsorship and raising funds. This is why my new race dedicated blog is not yet created - I don't want make something only to find out I've violated ten different rules.

But there you go. It has taken just 20 days for me to see an ad in the paper to being a fully signed up crew member. I feel just a leeetle bit ill when I think about all the ramifications, workload, emotional turmoil this is going to cause. But you know what, 2009 just got very interesting.

And this afternoon was a case in point about why working my butt off on a boat for five weeks can sound appealing. I had to go into town to:
a) deposit cheques
b) see a bank manager
c) buy envelopes
d) put two letters into the envelopes and post them
e) return library books and get new ones

How hard could this be? Apparently, very. Both boys left school hating the world and me in particular. Going to town was boring, boring, boring. They didn't want to go, despite me promising hot chocolate at Costa Coffee. (To be honest, I didn't want them to go either but I didn't have too much choice in the matter.) They whinged all the way there. Then they wailed and shouted and stropped and stamped their way to the bank, so much so that people either stopped and stared at us or gave us a very wide berth.

Once in the bank, they proceeded to let everyone know just how much they hated stupid banks and quite how boring they are. They wailed their way across the street to WH Smiths, until they saw the sweets and crisps inside. They then switched to full volume nag culminating in son1 standing with his hands on his hips yelling: "UNLESS YOU GET ME THESE CRISPS I'M NOT LEAVING THE SHOP".

You could see everyone looking to see what I was going to do. Was I going to give in to this tantrum and prove just how spoilt these little beasts were OR was I going to do what the WH Smith staff certainly wanted which was to buy the crisps and get our noisy selves the hell out of their shop. I opted for the latter just to buy me mileage to get to the post office. We finally got to Costa Coffee and the boys got their hot chocolate. They sat their happily crunching their quavers until they noticed that there were no marshmallows with their hot chocolate. Cue the next outburst. Son1 then said that he really was still hungry - which is normally true as school apparently burns a billion calories a day.

So I went and bought a bag of mini muffins in my bid to encourage healthy eating. Son 1 ate three in quick succession. Son 2 finally tried one, spat it out and yelled: "This is disgusting! I WANT SOMETHING ELSE!" I said no. Our difference of opinion ended with me trying to carry a small beast dripping hot chocolate, kicking and screaming all the way out.

We finally got to the library and every book I chose was "stupid". I gave up the fight, let them choose an assortment of crappy books and left. Supper has been ignored despite wails that they were so starving they might die within minutes. And I am having to type this to the background strains of Wall.E, another demand in the libary that I was too tired to fight (tantrums in WH Smith are one thing, in a library with everyone saying Sssh is quite another stress level). I can't possibly go to my study as the film is too scary, but they won't let me turn it off.

So this is why facing gales and high seas seems a breeze in comparison to my normal life.


Nicola said...

Congratulations!! How incredible. How brave. How jealous am I?! And who knows, maybe you will return with a whole new fresh appreciation of these delightful family trips to the postoffice/smiths/library? I doubt it very much, but it's always worth dreaming big.

Well done and I can't wait to read all about it.

The Dotterel said...

Are you sure five weeks is long enough?!

Adventure Mother said...

Oohh I know the tantrum thing well and I'm very impressed with your racing ambition. Well done you!

New Mum, Same Old Me said...

Oh my goodness! This sounds like just the best adventure. You can stop worrying about the kids, they'll have a supermum! Good luck with the training. I am looking forward to reading about it.

katyboo1 said...

Hooray. It came. Yup. I agree that it will be a breeze compared with the kids. You will walk it.

I am so excited. I cannot wait to help, bunting, sandwiches, knitting life belts. Just point me in the right direction.

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

Yay! Congratulations!

As Nicola said, time away could well help. And they will be fine.

Once you know what you can do publicity-wise, let us know and we will go out and tell everyone give you lots of money.

Had you thought of having your husband as a co-blogger, to give the perspective from the home-front? That might be interesting, if he was up to it.

justme said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I am REALLY happy for you....and for me too who will get to read the blog. I am in total awe of your adventurous spirit....especially the pooing in front of others! And as soon as you tell me how I will donate to your fund.
Though, sorry, I WONT volunteer to look after your children!!

Home Office Mum said...

Nicola - It doesn't feel brave. I think it's because I'm not really thinking about the fact that I'll be stuck on a boat in the middle of the high seas for 5 weeks. Oh shit, now I did just think about it.

Dotterel - Good point, five weeks probably isn't long enough.

Adventure Mother - thanks - and I just took a look at your blog. Nice kids things. Might need to have a browse later on.

New mum - thanks. I think the break from the constant whinging will be nice. But then again, I'll have 17 crew members doing the same thing.

Katyboo - I'm looking forward to receiving my knitted life vest. Will no doubt keep me warm, even if it ends up drowning me once it gets wet.

TAsha - nice idea about husband blogging although I'd have more chance of getting a flat stomach before I die

Justme - gutted that you won't have my kids but I'll readily take your money. Might need it to pay for my mental health clinic if the kids stay as they are.

Anonymous said...

I'll have your kids! Just send them off to their NZ Aunty...sorry I can't afford to come and fetch them.

Ali said...

This is so exciting. You're amazing, it's going to be such a life-changing thing, such a great thing to challenge yourself with. Poor you, don't you just love days out like that? Take heart in the fact that we all have them!

mothership said...

Laughed out loud at the spat out muffin debacle. It sounded so eerily familiar that I thought he was channeling my Four. She also does the hot chocolate whine, but over whipped cream at Starbucks. Wait, did I just publicly confess to that?
Congratulations on the boat trip! It is totally FABULOUS and I would also like to help promote it as soon as you have the relevant details. Maybe someone clever here can make a badge we can stick on our sites with a link to a donation site? That person, I hasten to add will NOT be me as I am not so good at the code..

that girl? said...

OMG!! Congratulations!!! You are so brave and must be very excited... as well as scared shitless! Can't wait to hear about all your adventures and dont forget to take plenty of pink wafer biscuits with you to supplement that calorie deficit! Well Done HMO!

Welsh Girl said...

The boat is going to be a doddle after motherhood!

Helen said...

It will be a breeze - even in the gales! It is unbelievable what a mother puts up with in the course of a day!!!

bevchen said...

Congratulations! I'm so pleased for you.

Now where do we go to give you money?

Jo said...

Everyone else has already said it all! But congratulations anyway - talk about making life "interesting"! And there has definitely GOT to be a book in all this ...

Home Office Mum said...

Sorry for the silence - have had internet issues!
Thanks for the support everyone - Mothership - fab idea about the logos. Will get onto it.

Anonymous said...

Bother - I read this yesterday and was convinced I'd commented. Any-hoo, I'm chuffed to bits that you've had your fat envelope, and would absolutely like to link to your promo site once it's up and running.