"Muuuummmy!" Son 1 yells from the loo.
"I've got one more poo and I can't get it out! It's huge and it just won't come out!"
"Well what exactly would you like me to do about it?"
"Get something and stick it up my bum to get it out."
"I don't think we can do that."
"C'monnnnnnnn. It juuuust woooon't cooooome ooooooout! I think this poo has been in my bum since, since.....since I was born!"
Who says I don't get scintillating conversation?