Sunday, 15 February 2009

We are perfect parents

This weekend has been a singular disaster in terms of 'having a fun day out'. We were meant to visit a zoo or museum or something other than our living room, but we didn't. The children wanted to stay at home and play zingo (again). My husband wanted to stay at home and watch rugby. I wanted to hit the shops and spend wildly on my husband's credit card. Neither my husband or my children would let me do that.

At lunchtime today my cabin fever had hit an all time high so I convinced everyone that we should go out for lunch to ASK pizza. They have a three course kids meal with fun pack for £5.95 - more importantly, they have pizza for me and I don't have to cook or wash dishes.

I always believe that these excursions to restaurants will be fun. They seldom are. They usually involve a lot of stern whispering of 'sit down', 'don't shout', 'stop stabbing your brother with the knife' type of conversations.

This was no different. Son 2 has no idea about volume control and must shout everything he says. So I told him that we were secret agents and that everyone else in the restaurant were potential baddies who might overhear our secret plans unless he whispers. He then spent the rest of the lunch pointing at our neighbouring tables and shouting: 'Are they baddies mummy?'

What's more, ASK pizza Newbury is apparently staffed by people who donated their brains to a medical research facility. We got there at 1pm. We left at 4pm. Three hours in a pizza joint. With two kids. I could have whipped up the dough and made all the pizzas for the entire establishment in that time.

Anyway, despite my husband putting his angry eyes in with extra loud sighs thrown in for dramatic effect, the children were actually reasonable, thanks to playing eye spy and two little dickie birds on repeat cycle. It wasn't fun but we were surviving it.

Then the table next to us got up and the old gentlemen turned to our boys and said: 'You two were immaculately behaved. I think I'll send my grandson to come and live with your parents for a while so that he can learn some manners." (This despite him being labelled as chief baddie by son 2)

PREEN. Yes, we are indeed perfect parents. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. With two little angels who are the height of perfect children. Well done us.

If only the lovely gentleman knew the truth.... But I could have kissed him. I really could have.

14 comments:

mothership said...

I love this! Isn't it WONDERFUL when you get an outing like that with the children? And get a compliment too? I wish they were all like that. We had a similar experience on Friday, plus compliment (only after we had hissed at Four that we weren't afraid to walk out of the restaurant and cancel Valentine's day into the bargain if she didn't sit still and be nice), but we have also had the fork throwing, tantrum throwing, I don't LIKE this FOOD, I WANNA GO HOME type of outing too where Husband and I have lost the will to live, as well as eat.
I must try your baddies tip. That is truly inspired!

Adventure Mother said...

Fab! Don't you just love praise towards your kids and parenting skills? Makes it all worthwhile!

More than Just a Mother said...

Absolutely fantastic - justly deserved, I'm sure :)

Home Office Mum said...

Mothership, most of our outings are the I WANNA GO HOME type - and that's just me. This was VERY unusual.

Adventure mother - I adore praise for my parenting skills. I believe this was the first I've received.

More than - Deserved? Obviously ;-)

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

Oh, it's great when that happens! We used to get that a lot with R. Not so much these days. It's more glares and frowns. I'm waiting for the day someone turns round and tells me I'm doing it wrong. They will not know what's hit them.

We used to go out for lunch every Saturday, but we gave up in the end, because it was just far from relaxing. It was a case of taking turns to chase R around the place, while we waited half an hour for the food to arrive. And then eat three mouthfuls before having to chase her round again. Three hours?! Can't even imagine how that could be possible.

nappy valley girl said...

Sounds like you did pretty well, if you're getting compliments from older gents.

We occasionally go to Pizza Express with my father in law. However the boys behave, he ALWAYS turns and apologises to the neighbouring tables as we're getting up to go...

Welsh Girl said...

Good to see that you are getting into practice for 'cabin fever'. Should I point out that kissing strange grandparents is WRONG WRONG WRONG?

Ali said...

Isn't that lovely? I have several people fooled that my children are just delightful. Of course, I genuinely AM a perfect parent....

Nicola said...

Well done you!! I had a similar experience on xmas day - just the boys, ex and I in a restaurant. Boys seemed to be all over the place and ex was furious and I was walking on egg shells. After about an hour of this indigestion causing chaos an older guy (don't you just LOVE em?) leaned over and said 'Your boys are just so well behaved and so polite'. Excuse me? It made my day and I actually chilled out and enjoyed the rest of lunch. Tnanks for the memory!

Iota said...

Who needs to be a romantic goddess when you can be the perfect parent? THREE HOURS. Purgatory.

The Dotterel said...

There really is no better feeling, is there. And you sort of look at your own children slightly differently, too - for at least five minutes afterwards!

justme said...

Three Hours???? I would have been drunk......

Home Office Mum said...

Codingmama - believe me, it felt like five hours.

Nappy valley - not sure I'd want that in a Father In Law but then again, I tend to do the same thing before we've even sat down, apologising in advance to surrounding tables.

Welsh - I am honing my cabin fever skills. But thanks for pointing that out.

Ali - I am sure you are

Nicola - you're welcome!

Iota - that is exactly why I'm not a sex goddess. You can't be that and a perfect mother. Something's gotta give

Dotterel - i look at my children differently for about 5 seconds and then the whispered recriminations started again

Justme - I so wanted to be...

that girl? said...

Ah I love it when a meal out with kids plan comes together!