So right about now I should be writing about how the French apparently don't breastfeed their babies unless they're hardcore hippies and the Italians do but stay in hiding for three months, at which point they head outdoors and transition their children directly onto horsemeat. However, I just don't have the stamina or enthusiasm. The reason? I've just written a list of all the mundane things that need to be done in our house and the hamster-wheel drudgery of it all is sucking out my will to live.
These are things that need doing because they haven't been done for a long, long time. They are chores that get pushed to the bottom of the pile because they fall into the 'Not Urgent, Not Important' quadrant of life. But it doesn't mean that they can be ignored forever. And by virtue of the fact that they haven't been done, they are using up space in my brain (not to mention my cupboards) and I feel as though both need a good decluttering.
I would like to hire someone to take my list and do it all for me. I think they would charge rather a lot, but I really would seriously consider having someone do it all. Know anyone?
Here's the list - have a strong coffee now as you might fall into a boredom induced coma:
Take clothes to charity
Sell suitable things on eBay (this involves washing, ironging, photographing, uploading, posting)
Sort our airing cupboard/towels/linen – chuck old, buy new
Sort out toy cupboard incl toy box in boy's room
Sort out photos lying all over drawing room floor (as they have been since February this year)
Do up spare bedroom
Put new pictures in frames/hang others already done
Put up notice board in office (stick one bazillion school notices on it)
Sort out filing trays in office
Get rid of Chris' crap in office (note to self: do this while he's not looking)
Sort out inside of office cupboards
Get video camera fixed. Film children before they stop being cute.
Chuck out old clothes in my cupboard
Sort out Tupperware cupboard - buy more tupperware (you can never, ever have enough)
Sort out CDs in drawing room (let's play find the right CD for the CD cover)
Get new rechargeable batteries for camera
Get tumble dryer repaired
Get handyman to finish skirting in spareroom, plus plugs fittings
Get handyman to fix hole in kitchen wall
Get handyman to fix malfunctioning radiator
Get boiler serviced
Get more oil
Get car serviced
Sort out hedge issue with neighbours
This is a full time job right? Taking care of all this crap. Not to mention the day to day cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing delight that takes place. The fact that I've sorted out the magazines in my office, gone through my knicker drawer and done the kid's clothes cupboard recently are all steps in the right direction, but they feel rather insignificant when placed next to the Everest of chores that remains.
The time it's taken me to type this blog, I probably could have sorted out the bag of gift wrap and cards (meant to be my organised way of being prepared for any last minute birthday surprises) that seems to have exploded in my office (that's another one to add to the list) but the I-can't-be-arsed feeling has a pretty firm grip on me tonight and it's steering me towards the wine chiller and TV remote control. I really to need to have a stern word with myself. If I could kick myself in the butt I would but I fear I'd pull a hamstring. That would be because I've still not done my fitness video either.